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Hoe doorbreekt de people pleaser de cyclus van destructieve relaties in zijn/haar leven?

Posted on October 10, 2017 at 12:45 AM

Hoe doorbreekt de people pleaser de cyclus van destructieve relaties in zijn/haar leven?

Zoals bekent heeft de people pleaser een ongezonde denkpatroon ontwikkeld in het disfunctionele gezin/familie waar die is opgegroeid. De people pleaser is geneigd om zichzelf weg te cijfer en overwegend de belangen van de ander voorop te zetten om geliefd en geaccepteerd te worden.

Juist door zichzelf weg te cijferen en altijd de belangen van de ander voorop te zetten trekt de people pleaser heel destructieve personen aan. Met het gevolg dat de people pleaser continue belandt in destructieve relaties.

Mijninziens indien de people pleaser de cyclus wil doorbreken van destructieve relaties en misbruik dan is het heel belangrijk dat de people pleaser eerst zijn/haar denken moet gaan veranderen. Men moet anders gaan denken over zichzelf en over gezonde relaties.

Het proces van het doorbreken van de cyclus van het aantrekken van destructieve relaties:

1. Als eerst moet de people pleaser beseffen dat men ongelukkig is en dat dit komt door de destructieve relatie(s) waarin men zich bevindt;

2. De people pleaser dient te accepteren dat men een ongezonde denkpatroon heeft ontwikkeld over zichzelf, gezonde relaties en gezonde personen;

3. De people pleaser moet bereid zijn om al zijn/haar huidige relaties nader te bekijken. Kijken als er sprake is van een destructieve relatie. Indien dit wel het geval is moet men bereid zijn om de relatie(s) te veranderen/beëindigen;

4. Leren (doormiddel van coaching/counseling) hoe een gezonde relatie eruit ziet en hoe destructieve personen eruit zien en hoe ze handelen;

5. De people pleaser moet werken aan zichzelf. Het verkeerde denkpatroon over zichzelf gaan veranderen (doormiddel van coaching/counseling). De meeste destructieve personen maken gebruik van je schuld, schaamte en vrees om je te manipuleren of pesten. Daarom is het heel belangrijk dat de people pleaser zijn/haar eigen schuld, schaamte en vrees leert ontdekken en hieraan gaat werken. Een krachtig middel om je eigen schuld, schaamte en vrees te overwinnen is om ongelimiteerd van jezelf te leren houden. Dus van jezelf houden met al je zwakheden.

6. Leren hoe een gezonde relatie te onderhouden/behouden.

Ik kom zelf uit een disfunctioneel gezin/familie, was zelf jaren een people pleaser en ben steeds verwikkeld geweest in zeer destructieve relaties. Met hulp heb ik geleerd hoe uit de cyclus van people pleasing, destructieve relaties en emotioneel misbruik te komen.

Ik heb niets goeds overgehouden van de periode toen ik leefde als een people pleaser. Het was meer een ellendige periode met veel emotioneel misbruik, manipulatie en pesterij. Vandaar mijn passie om me in te zetten voor de people pleaser die steeds in destructieve relaties belandt.

Ben je zelf een people pleaser, wil je loskomen hiervan en gezonde relaties aantrekken? Neem contact op met My Hope. Ik help je graag om los te breken van de people pleasing en om gezonde relaties aan te trekken.


My Hope. Stop destructieve relaties en people pleasing.

Tel: 06-27292126. E-Mail: [email protected] Website:

“ Ja, ook jij people pleaser heb recht op je eigen leven, idealen en toekomst. People pleaser je bent geen gebruiksvoorwerp maar een mens. Je mag zelf bepalen hoe je je voelt, wat je wilt denken en wat je wilt met je leven. Je mag zelf bepalen wie je in je leven wil hebben. People pleaser ook jij mag een halt roepen tegen elke vorm van misbruik en pesterij”. Suzanne Julen.

All rights reserved. Suzanne Julen 2017.

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